{"id":5828,"date":"2022-07-31T19:13:49","date_gmt":"2022-07-31T19:13:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/learn.elca.org\/jle\/?p=5828"},"modified":"2022-07-31T19:32:35","modified_gmt":"2022-07-31T19:32:35","slug":"review-aging-and-loving-christian-faith-and-sexuality-in-later-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/learn.elca.org\/jle\/review-aging-and-loving-christian-faith-and-sexuality-in-later-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Book Review: Aging and Loving: Christian Faith and Sexuality in Later Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201dNow Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in age; it had ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. So Sarah laughed to herself saying, \u2018After I have grown old, and my husband is old, shall I have pleasure?\u2019\u201d (Genesis 18:11-12)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sarah needed to read this book. So do you, if you are ready to deal with \u201cthe fact that interest in sex, sexual desires, and sexual activities continue to be a part of life among older adults\u201d (p. 30). Sexuality among elders isn\u2019t new, and both healthy laughter and snide comments persist. But never have there been so many of us, and sexual liberation has surrounded our whole lives!<\/p>\n

How does our Christian faith inform and liberate our sexuality in later life?<\/p>\n

This book\u2019s question is more serious than Sarah\u2019s, but her frivolity also fits well in the quest. After all, our human, mortal, and sexual realities are more than a little funny, at their physical and spiritual best, but at their worst, our sexual powers can also be deceitful, destructive, and evil. So while we are living longer with good health than any previous generation and most of our lives have been freed from many of the fears and taboos of our pre-birth control ancestors, we still have vocations to serve our neighbors, beginning with those intimately close to us.<\/p>\n

Our trusted teacher, Dr. James M. Childs Jr. is the Joseph A. Sittler Professor emeritus and former Dean of Trinity Lutheran Seminary. He has published widely in Christian ethics and was the Director of Sexuality Studies for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. He writes clearly and weaves a compelling narrative in three parts, each with two chapters, regularly alerting the reader to the whole. He concludes with an appendix<\/em> on \u201cPornography and Sexual Self-Pleasuring.\u201d He also has a sub-plot: \u201cI think meeting the theological challenge of heterosexism is a good starting point for the development of an inclusive theology of human sexuality that also speaks to sexual life in old age and the important theme of vocation\u201d (p. 96).<\/p>\n

Part One, \u201cConfronting Perception and Reality,\u201d includes chapters on \u201cAttitudes Toward Aging and Sexuality\u201d and \u201cSexuality in Older Age: A Reality Check.\u201d These chapters confront the myths and stereotypes of agism in a youth culture that nurtures \u201chumanity\u2019s pretense of independent existence\u201d (p. 18). What a sad and shaming story that is! We were created for relationships, indeed dependence upon God\u2019s everlasting love. \u201cFrom the standpoint of the Christian faith, life at all ages is not only sacred as created in the divine image but also endowed with a gospel vocation that permeates all of life. Our sexual lives are also a venue for that calling\u201d (p. 24). And in fact, many elders have joyful sexual stories. \u201cWhatever expressions of physical intimacy are practiced or possible, these people find their sex lives meaningful and pleasurable\u201d (p. 38).<\/p>\n

Part Two, \u201cEngaging Reality,\u201d explores chapters on \u201cLiving Options Among Older Adults\u201d and \u201cSexual Life in Long-Term Care Facilities.\u201d This is practical stuff. Many families and faith communities have been confronted with the non-marital cohabitation of young adults, with<\/p>\n

diverse gender identities. But what becomes of Judeo-Christian understandings of marriage and its legal definitions when non-married elders move in together? And what are the moral and legal responsibilities of long-term care facilities when their \u201cintimacy requires privacy\u201d (p. 67)?<\/p>\n

It’s all interesting, and the loving stories truly are touching. But even senior sex is complicated, when it is also remembered that human intimacy requires trust. The range of Christian and Jewish traditions mentioned in these chapters reveals the varied ways in which the regulation of sexual behaviors in civil and faith communities seeks to protect the vulnerable (p. 115). When Marvin was \u201cHaving the Best Time of My Life\u201d in a retirement community with women who just wanted to \u201cfool around,\u201d the fun ended when he became an HPV spreader (p. 83).<\/p>\n

Part Three, \u201cMapping the Way of Christian Love\u201d explores chapters on \u201cSexuality, Values, and Vocation\u201d and \u201cAging, Sexuality, and the Ethics of Christian Love.\u201d Here we have a rich, but abbreviated version of Dr. Childs\u2019 testimony \u201cin almost all my writings\u201d to \u201cthese values of the kingdom of God as a revelation of the good toward which we strive in love\u201d (p. 144, n. 29). This is the main course of the feast, for which the previous servings (chapters 1-4) have prepared us.<\/p>\n

My limitations as a biblical laborer will be evident to the theologian-ethicists. But with the range of readers who will benefit from this book, I want to inquire about the theology of hope with which Dr. Childs\u2019 reframes marriage as \u201can order of anticipation, an avenue of witness,\u201d rather than merely an \u201corder of creation\u201d (p. 106) or one of the \u201corders of history\u201d (p. 99). It\u2019s a glorious move, grounding heterosexual marriage \u201cin a future that transcends it,\u201d whereby \u201cother sorts of loving and just sexual relationships can also be orders of anticipation,\u201d including \u201cgay and lesbian unions, for example.\u201d Then \u201cfaithful seniors who are cohabiting can fulfill this vocation of anticipation \u2026 in the openness of all things to God\u2019s future\u201d (pp. 106-107).<\/p>\n

This foray into \u201crelationality and community as the essence of Trinitarian unity\u201d is beautiful, \u201ccentered on the construct of perichoresis<\/em>, or the mutual indwelling of the persons of the Trinity with one another in the bonds of love\u201d (p. 108). Perhaps such a journey into the divine is the right doxology in Christian traditions of spiritual transcendence and ethical \u201cideals\u201d (see pp. 92,93,117), where marriage is a sacrament. And this may be a promising remedy for rigid \u201corders of creation,\u201d drawing us beyond our earthly selves into the communion and community of divine love that exceeds our grasp, \u201cor what\u2019s a heaven for?\u201d<\/p>\n

But the biblical story is about a down-to-earth God, creating and loving physical creatures. Marriage and sexuality are first mortal and mundane in their glory. As Childs consistently attests, \u201cTo be human is to be sexual in the unity of body and spirit\u201d (p. 92). Christian freedom, including sexual liberation, is an earthly vocation. As the earthy Saxon Martin Luther said:<\/p>\n

\u201cA Christian is lord of all, completely free of everything.<\/p>\n

A Christian is a servant, completely attentive to the needs of all.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And Luther drew his ethic of freedom from the Apostle Paul:<\/p>\n

\u201cAll things are lawful, but not all things are beneficial.<\/p>\n

All things are lawful, but not all things build up.\u201d (I Cor. 10:23)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cCompleting creation is God\u2019s eschatological action that brings a new heaven and a new earth into being\u201d (p. 102). Meanwhile God\u2019s law and civic ordinances protect the vulnerable, and ethical human agency seeks to make the world a more just and trustworthy place, including in sexual (and economic!) relationships in human communities.<\/p>\n

\u201cWas it good for you?\u201d<\/p>\n

This customer satisfaction question is often just a performance review after sexual activity. That\u2019s clearly better than no communication about intimate relationships. But the question may also express the Christian caring and loving humanity which healthy sexuality can convey.<\/p>\n

Since we humans are all sexual creatures, we have needs and desires for physical intimacies. Whatever our physical or mental abilities\/disabilities and our gender identities\/sexual responses and our ages or community roles, our capacities and vulnerabilities are deeply personal, but with profound communal effects. As the 2009 ELCA statement on sexuality noted, \u201cThis vocation to build relationships of trust is not a private matter; it is part of the Christian witness in the community and the Christian\u2019s calling in all situations\u201d (p. 58). Thus even human elders in the waiting room for heaven are called to steward our sexuality in freedom from shame and in freedom for the well-being of the neighbor and the world.<\/p>\n

Thank you Dr. James Childs for guiding our quest: How does our Christian faith inform and liberate our sexuality in later life?<\/p>\n

And thank you Sarah for your wry question: \u201cAfter I have grown old, and my husband is old, shall I have pleasure?\u201d<\/p>\n

We hope so!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201dNow Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in age; it had ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. So Sarah laughed to herself saying, \u2018After I have grown old, and my husband is old, shall I have pleasure?\u2019\u201d (Genesis 18:11-12) Sarah needed to read this book. So do you, if you are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[59,15,39,32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5828","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gerontology","category-book-review","category-christian-living","category-sexuality"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nBook Review: Aging and Loving: Christian Faith and Sexuality in Later Life - Journal of Lutheran Ethics<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/learn.elca.org\/jle\/review-aging-and-loving-christian-faith-and-sexuality-in-later-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Book Review: Aging and Loving: Christian Faith and Sexuality in Later Life - Journal of Lutheran Ethics\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u201dNow Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in age; it had ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. 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